The great debate

For CENTURIES, scientists, philosophers, and poets have debated the proper hot dog condiment; an all-out holy war between ketchup and mustard. And finally an answer:

Mustard on a hot dog is the best thing ever.

Ketchup makes you grow tiny balls on your taint until your crotch looks like the Fruit of the Loom Grapes character.

So there you go. Enjoy!